Yeah, I'm barely here. Why are you?

Locke (2013): I’m gonna have to watch this movie again to get a better grip on exactly how I feel about it. Like most A24 films, at least the ones I’ve seen (Spring Breakers, Enemy, Under The Skin), this isn’t the film for everyone. Think of it more of a play, because that’s what it really is. The film is very much a character piece. Tom Hardy plays Ivan Locke, a construction supervisor going through the biggest build of his career, but a call he receives changes everything for him. The entire 80 minute film is Tom Hardy in a car, talking to various people over speakerphone. The reason I’m unsure and will need to watch it again is because, similar to Enemy, the ending takes time to process. With Enemy, I knew I loved the film, just needed to make sense of it. With Locke, I know I enjoyed the film, as I was captivated for the entire 80 minutes, but the ending left me unfulfilled. I’ll give it a 7/10 for now

Locke (2013): I’m gonna have to watch this movie again to get a better grip on exactly how I feel about it. Like most A24 films, at least the ones I’ve seen (Spring Breakers, Enemy, Under The Skin), this isn’t the film for everyone. Think of it more of a play, because that’s what it really is. The film is very much a character piece. Tom Hardy plays Ivan Locke, a construction supervisor going through the biggest build of his career, but a call he receives changes everything for him. The entire 80 minute film is Tom Hardy in a car, talking to various people over speakerphone. The reason I’m unsure and will need to watch it again is because, similar to Enemy, the ending takes time to process. With Enemy, I knew I loved the film, just needed to make sense of it. With Locke, I know I enjoyed the film, as I was captivated for the entire 80 minutes, but the ending left me unfulfilled. I’ll give it a 7/10 for now

Enemy (2013): I wanted to see this movie when it made it’s brief appearance in NYC but of course, I didn’t get a chance to. Thank god for Netflix. This is an indie film (keep your hipster remarks to yourself) and it is released by studio A24, which is a studio who is really impressing me lately. The plot is basically about a man played by Jake Gyllenhaal, who is a history teacher at a college. One day, his co-worker suggests a movie for him to watch. After completing the film, he rewinds to find a background actor who looks exactly like him. That’s all I’m saying about the film’s plot, go watch it you lazy person you. Now, I don’t want to call this an “art house film”, because while it does have characteristics that are found in art house films, it’s not as extreme as something like Under The Skin (2013). I’m reading reviews saying the film was boring, and sure, if your idea of a good movie is cuts every 10 seconds, explosions, plastic tits bouncing and men wearing tights fighting aliens, than maybe you won’t like something like this. If you’re up for an entertaining movie that requires your brain to keep up and ultimately, at the very end try to piece everything together, this ticks all the boxes. Great story, great acting and the style is really fun, sorta 70s font mixed with classic noir music. Good stuff. 10/10

Also, used multiple posters because I couldn’t pick just one.

Whooo on Flickr.

Whooo on Flickr.

Polar bear in heat on Flickr.

Polar bear in heat on Flickr.

Red Panda on Flickr.

Red Panda on Flickr.

Elephante on Flickr.

Elephante on Flickr.

Beauty in the Bronx on Flickr.

Beauty in the Bronx on Flickr.

Sally the camel on Flickr.

Sally the camel on Flickr.

Edge of Tomorrow (2014): The marketing has failed this one. I try to stay away from trailers, since I feel like they ruin some films, so I only saw one trailer for Edge of Tomorrow and it made the film, to me anyway, seem like it was in this weird future where the military has this feature where if a soldier is killed, they wake up again and get to try again, like a video game. That’s sorta not what we’re dealing with in this movie. Instead, only Tom Cruise’s character, Cage, has this ability. For me to like an action movie, it has to have brains. It can’t be boom, boom, pow, explosion, boom boom, men fighting, boom boom credits (hello Bay movies…hello GI Joe 2). I actually cared about them saving the world, the other random soldiers, including one played by Bill Paxton (sadly, there’s no Finger of God…sorry, Universal Orlando Twister joke, nvm, run along) The one negative is probably due to the 16 year old projectionist working at the Regal Theater in Union Square. The showing I went to was CRAZY dark! I’m sure this wasn’t the filmmakers intention. Anyway, it’s sort of sad to see a movie like this not being a successful hit at the box office, meanwhile shit like Transformers is making money like it’s no ones business…*sigh*, America. 7/10

Edge of Tomorrow (2014): The marketing has failed this one. I try to stay away from trailers, since I feel like they ruin some films, so I only saw one trailer for Edge of Tomorrow and it made the film, to me anyway, seem like it was in this weird future where the military has this feature where if a soldier is killed, they wake up again and get to try again, like a video game. That’s sorta not what we’re dealing with in this movie. Instead, only Tom Cruise’s character, Cage, has this ability. For me to like an action movie, it has to have brains. It can’t be boom, boom, pow, explosion, boom boom, men fighting, boom boom credits (hello Bay movies…hello GI Joe 2). I actually cared about them saving the world, the other random soldiers, including one played by Bill Paxton (sadly, there’s no Finger of God…sorry, Universal Orlando Twister joke, nvm, run along) The one negative is probably due to the 16 year old projectionist working at the Regal Theater in Union Square. The showing I went to was CRAZY dark! I’m sure this wasn’t the filmmakers intention. Anyway, it’s sort of sad to see a movie like this not being a successful hit at the box office, meanwhile shit like Transformers is making money like it’s no ones business…*sigh*, America. 7/10

Deliver Us From Evil (2014): As someone who enjoys horror films and currently (against my will) lives in the Bronx, how could I not see a horror film that takes place in the Bronx?! Before I start the review, I should say how much I’m waiting for someone to fix this genre. The film starts out decently but not the way you would expect. It’s more of a cop movie than a horror film. Early in the film, we get the best sequence the film has to offer: A creepy after-hours investigation of the Bronx Zoo. I live 10 mins away from the zoo, so maybe this helped with the creepyness, I don’t know. From there, the movie goes down hill. The scares aren’t there, hell the gore is barely there…besides this one thing with a cat..but yeah, nothing much to offer here. During the last act, the movie gets damn near stupid. What was supposed to be creepy, turned into comedy. To make matters worse, you end up getting preached to. The message of the film is believe in god and no evil will happen to you or anyone you know. I don’t go to a movie to feel guilty that my being an atheist is going to cause myself, my family or my friends to be cursed by a demonic sprit…in any case, no one visit the Bronx Zoo anytime soon, ok? 2/10

Deliver Us From Evil (2014): As someone who enjoys horror films and currently (against my will) lives in the Bronx, how could I not see a horror film that takes place in the Bronx?! Before I start the review, I should say how much I’m waiting for someone to fix this genre. The film starts out decently but not the way you would expect. It’s more of a cop movie than a horror film. Early in the film, we get the best sequence the film has to offer: A creepy after-hours investigation of the Bronx Zoo. I live 10 mins away from the zoo, so maybe this helped with the creepyness, I don’t know. From there, the movie goes down hill. The scares aren’t there, hell the gore is barely there…besides this one thing with a cat..but yeah, nothing much to offer here. During the last act, the movie gets damn near stupid. What was supposed to be creepy, turned into comedy. To make matters worse, you end up getting preached to. The message of the film is believe in god and no evil will happen to you or anyone you know. I don’t go to a movie to feel guilty that my being an atheist is going to cause myself, my family or my friends to be cursed by a demonic sprit…in any case, no one visit the Bronx Zoo anytime soon, ok? 2/10


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    What happens after many small town residents vanish in a Rapture-like event? Thanks for tuning in to the premiere of The Leftovers tonight.  Share this one proudly. It’s from our friends at HBO.

I just unlocked the The Leftovers Premiere sticker on tvtag

1343 others have also unlocked the The Leftovers Premiere sticker on tvtag

What happens after many small town residents vanish in a Rapture-like event? Thanks for tuning in to the premiere of The Leftovers tonight. Share this one proudly. It’s from our friends at HBO.

Pompeii (2014): As I was getting ready to watch this, I had a certain song in my head. “How am I gonna be an optimist about this?”. See, the last movie I watched, or attempted to watch, was The Legend of Hercules (2014), which came out almost a month before Pompeii did. That movie sucked. I didn’t bother rating it because I don’t rate movies I cannot finish, and I turned that crap off around the 40 minute mark. Pompeii I at least finished, though that’s not saying it wasn’t disappointing. What kept it going is that I cared for Kit Harington’s character and that Kit is a decent actor. The disappointment comes from the film not knowing what it wanted to be. We get a disaster movie, mixed with a sword & sandal movie, a romance movie, and a revenge movie. Hell, there’s probably another genre in there that I’m forgetting. If this film decided it wanted to be a disaster + romance film, something like Titanic (1997) than it honestly would have been a decent film. The revenge/sword & sandal aspects is what drags this film down. It’s trying too hard to be 300 (2006) or Starz’s Spartacus: Blood and Sand and pretty much fails in it’s attempts. You can be a jack of all trades, but you’ll be a master at none. That pretty much describes Pompeii. 3/10

Pompeii (2014): As I was getting ready to watch this, I had a certain song in my head. “How am I gonna be an optimist about this?”. See, the last movie I watched, or attempted to watch, was The Legend of Hercules (2014), which came out almost a month before Pompeii did. That movie sucked. I didn’t bother rating it because I don’t rate movies I cannot finish, and I turned that crap off around the 40 minute mark. Pompeii I at least finished, though that’s not saying it wasn’t disappointing. What kept it going is that I cared for Kit Harington’s character and that Kit is a decent actor. The disappointment comes from the film not knowing what it wanted to be. We get a disaster movie, mixed with a sword & sandal movie, a romance movie, and a revenge movie. Hell, there’s probably another genre in there that I’m forgetting. If this film decided it wanted to be a disaster + romance film, something like Titanic (1997) than it honestly would have been a decent film. The revenge/sword & sandal aspects is what drags this film down. It’s trying too hard to be 300 (2006) or Starz’s Spartacus: Blood and Sand and pretty much fails in it’s attempts. You can be a jack of all trades, but you’ll be a master at none. That pretty much describes Pompeii. 3/10

Wizarding World of Harry Potter: Diagon Alley at Universal Studios Florida