Yeah, I'm barely here. Why are you?

Whooo on Flickr.

Whooo on Flickr.

Polar bear in heat on Flickr.

Polar bear in heat on Flickr.

Red Panda on Flickr.

Red Panda on Flickr.

Elephante on Flickr.

Elephante on Flickr.

Beauty in the Bronx on Flickr.

Beauty in the Bronx on Flickr.

Sally the camel on Flickr.

Sally the camel on Flickr.

Edge of Tomorrow (2014): The marketing has failed this one. I try to stay away from trailers, since I feel like they ruin some films, so I only saw one trailer for Edge of Tomorrow and it made the film, to me anyway, seem like it was in this weird future where the military has this feature where if a soldier is killed, they wake up again and get to try again, like a video game. That’s sorta not what we’re dealing with in this movie. Instead, only Tom Cruise’s character, Cage, has this ability. For me to like an action movie, it has to have brains. It can’t be boom, boom, pow, explosion, boom boom, men fighting, boom boom credits (hello Bay movies…hello GI Joe 2). I actually cared about them saving the world, the other random soldiers, including one played by Bill Paxton (sadly, there’s no Finger of God…sorry, Universal Orlando Twister joke, nvm, run along) The one negative is probably due to the 16 year old projectionist working at the Regal Theater in Union Square. The showing I went to was CRAZY dark! I’m sure this wasn’t the filmmakers intention. Anyway, it’s sort of sad to see a movie like this not being a successful hit at the box office, meanwhile shit like Transformers is making money like it’s no ones business…*sigh*, America. 7/10

Edge of Tomorrow (2014): The marketing has failed this one. I try to stay away from trailers, since I feel like they ruin some films, so I only saw one trailer for Edge of Tomorrow and it made the film, to me anyway, seem like it was in this weird future where the military has this feature where if a soldier is killed, they wake up again and get to try again, like a video game. That’s sorta not what we’re dealing with in this movie. Instead, only Tom Cruise’s character, Cage, has this ability. For me to like an action movie, it has to have brains. It can’t be boom, boom, pow, explosion, boom boom, men fighting, boom boom credits (hello Bay movies…hello GI Joe 2). I actually cared about them saving the world, the other random soldiers, including one played by Bill Paxton (sadly, there’s no Finger of God…sorry, Universal Orlando Twister joke, nvm, run along) The one negative is probably due to the 16 year old projectionist working at the Regal Theater in Union Square. The showing I went to was CRAZY dark! I’m sure this wasn’t the filmmakers intention. Anyway, it’s sort of sad to see a movie like this not being a successful hit at the box office, meanwhile shit like Transformers is making money like it’s no ones business…*sigh*, America. 7/10

Deliver Us From Evil (2014): As someone who enjoys horror films and currently (against my will) lives in the Bronx, how could I not see a horror film that takes place in the Bronx?! Before I start the review, I should say how much I’m waiting for someone to fix this genre. The film starts out decently but not the way you would expect. It’s more of a cop movie than a horror film. Early in the film, we get the best sequence the film has to offer: A creepy after-hours investigation of the Bronx Zoo. I live 10 mins away from the zoo, so maybe this helped with the creepyness, I don’t know. From there, the movie goes down hill. The scares aren’t there, hell the gore is barely there…besides this one thing with a cat..but yeah, nothing much to offer here. During the last act, the movie gets damn near stupid. What was supposed to be creepy, turned into comedy. To make matters worse, you end up getting preached to. The message of the film is believe in god and no evil will happen to you or anyone you know. I don’t go to a movie to feel guilty that my being an atheist is going to cause myself, my family or my friends to be cursed by a demonic sprit…in any case, no one visit the Bronx Zoo anytime soon, ok? 2/10

Deliver Us From Evil (2014): As someone who enjoys horror films and currently (against my will) lives in the Bronx, how could I not see a horror film that takes place in the Bronx?! Before I start the review, I should say how much I’m waiting for someone to fix this genre. The film starts out decently but not the way you would expect. It’s more of a cop movie than a horror film. Early in the film, we get the best sequence the film has to offer: A creepy after-hours investigation of the Bronx Zoo. I live 10 mins away from the zoo, so maybe this helped with the creepyness, I don’t know. From there, the movie goes down hill. The scares aren’t there, hell the gore is barely there…besides this one thing with a cat..but yeah, nothing much to offer here. During the last act, the movie gets damn near stupid. What was supposed to be creepy, turned into comedy. To make matters worse, you end up getting preached to. The message of the film is believe in god and no evil will happen to you or anyone you know. I don’t go to a movie to feel guilty that my being an atheist is going to cause myself, my family or my friends to be cursed by a demonic sprit…in any case, no one visit the Bronx Zoo anytime soon, ok? 2/10


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    What happens after many small town residents vanish in a Rapture-like event? Thanks for tuning in to the premiere of The Leftovers tonight.  Share this one proudly. It’s from our friends at HBO.

I just unlocked the The Leftovers Premiere sticker on tvtag

1343 others have also unlocked the The Leftovers Premiere sticker on tvtag

What happens after many small town residents vanish in a Rapture-like event? Thanks for tuning in to the premiere of The Leftovers tonight. Share this one proudly. It’s from our friends at HBO.

Pompeii (2014): As I was getting ready to watch this, I had a certain song in my head. “How am I gonna be an optimist about this?”. See, the last movie I watched, or attempted to watch, was The Legend of Hercules (2014), which came out almost a month before Pompeii did. That movie sucked. I didn’t bother rating it because I don’t rate movies I cannot finish, and I turned that crap off around the 40 minute mark. Pompeii I at least finished, though that’s not saying it wasn’t disappointing. What kept it going is that I cared for Kit Harington’s character and that Kit is a decent actor. The disappointment comes from the film not knowing what it wanted to be. We get a disaster movie, mixed with a sword & sandal movie, a romance movie, and a revenge movie. Hell, there’s probably another genre in there that I’m forgetting. If this film decided it wanted to be a disaster + romance film, something like Titanic (1997) than it honestly would have been a decent film. The revenge/sword & sandal aspects is what drags this film down. It’s trying too hard to be 300 (2006) or Starz’s Spartacus: Blood and Sand and pretty much fails in it’s attempts. You can be a jack of all trades, but you’ll be a master at none. That pretty much describes Pompeii. 3/10

Pompeii (2014): As I was getting ready to watch this, I had a certain song in my head. “How am I gonna be an optimist about this?”. See, the last movie I watched, or attempted to watch, was The Legend of Hercules (2014), which came out almost a month before Pompeii did. That movie sucked. I didn’t bother rating it because I don’t rate movies I cannot finish, and I turned that crap off around the 40 minute mark. Pompeii I at least finished, though that’s not saying it wasn’t disappointing. What kept it going is that I cared for Kit Harington’s character and that Kit is a decent actor. The disappointment comes from the film not knowing what it wanted to be. We get a disaster movie, mixed with a sword & sandal movie, a romance movie, and a revenge movie. Hell, there’s probably another genre in there that I’m forgetting. If this film decided it wanted to be a disaster + romance film, something like Titanic (1997) than it honestly would have been a decent film. The revenge/sword & sandal aspects is what drags this film down. It’s trying too hard to be 300 (2006) or Starz’s Spartacus: Blood and Sand and pretty much fails in it’s attempts. You can be a jack of all trades, but you’ll be a master at none. That pretty much describes Pompeii. 3/10

Wizarding World of Harry Potter: Diagon Alley at Universal Studios Florida

22 Jump Street (2014): Like everyone, I saw 21 Jump Street expecting it to be bad. A movie based on a 80s teen drama, oh boy. The movie, though, was a huge surprise. It was actually really, really good and earned a perfect score from me. I was worried about 22 Jump Street, since I thought it would be hard to top the original, and most sequels do not stack up. While some sequels are a complete mess, this one isn’t. That being said, it still doesn’t reach the level of the original. I laughed a lot more than I did with Neighbors, but not nearly enough as I did with the original. This sequel is very meta, pointing out many times that this movie is basically the same story and plot as the original, and while it’s great that they are pointing it out, it doesn’t make for a great movie. The original worked because both Channing and Jonah was funny, but also because the supporting cast (Brie Larson, Dave Franco, Rob Riggle) made you care for them. This movie doesn’t have a great supporting cast, besides Rooster (Jimmy Tatro) and even he isn’t as great as someone like Dave Franco’s character. A lot of the humor also came from how different High School is now to when Schmidt and Jenko went. It was authentic to 2012 HS. This time, it felt like a very stereotypical college atmosphere instead of being an authentic one. It’s not a sequel that kills the original, but it’s not one that’s better either. Tip: If you see this movie, wait until the end credits. There’s a pretty short but funny post credit scene. 7/10

22 Jump Street (2014): Like everyone, I saw 21 Jump Street expecting it to be bad. A movie based on a 80s teen drama, oh boy. The movie, though, was a huge surprise. It was actually really, really good and earned a perfect score from me. I was worried about 22 Jump Street, since I thought it would be hard to top the original, and most sequels do not stack up. While some sequels are a complete mess, this one isn’t. That being said, it still doesn’t reach the level of the original. I laughed a lot more than I did with Neighbors, but not nearly enough as I did with the original. This sequel is very meta, pointing out many times that this movie is basically the same story and plot as the original, and while it’s great that they are pointing it out, it doesn’t make for a great movie. The original worked because both Channing and Jonah was funny, but also because the supporting cast (Brie Larson, Dave Franco, Rob Riggle) made you care for them. This movie doesn’t have a great supporting cast, besides Rooster (Jimmy Tatro) and even he isn’t as great as someone like Dave Franco’s character. A lot of the humor also came from how different High School is now to when Schmidt and Jenko went. It was authentic to 2012 HS. This time, it felt like a very stereotypical college atmosphere instead of being an authentic one. It’s not a sequel that kills the original, but it’s not one that’s better either. Tip: If you see this movie, wait until the end credits. There’s a pretty short but funny post credit scene. 7/10

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